How Penis-gate Starring Orlando Bloom, taught the average man to be thankful.
It’s almost one year since a collection of photos of Orlando Bloom on vacation with Katy Perry in Italy went viral. The reason they garnered such global attention? Bloom was nonchalantly paddle boarding with his penis on display for all to see.
A lot has happened in the meantime. For starters, Bloom and Perry have split up, although we are assured that it wasn’t because of the Hollywood actor’s penis size.
The image of Bloom kneeling on a board behind his former partner and letting it all hang out struck a chord with the average man. Why? Because he wasn’t exactly huge.
When perception is tackled by reality
Most men aren’t huge either, but there is a perception that those in the public eye have a bit more to boast about.
Don’t get us wrong, Bloom is a fine specimen of a man, who boasts a chiselled frame. However, his penis size was merely average and that was heartwarming for men everywhere.
Initially, pixelated images emerged with a long, slender shadow running down his leg. This gave the impression that he boasted a much bigger penis than is actually the case. However, the full unedited version of the photos soon emerged online.
He probably should have seen it all coming
Bloom has since stated that because he was holidaying in a secluded area he didn’t feel the need to worry about the paparazzi. That was an amateur error for a person who has been in the public eye for almost half of his life.
Bloom now begins most interviews with a warning to journalists that he is not willing to talk about matters relating to his penis. That’s fair enough; it’s his business, even if he doesn’t mind flaunting it from time to time.
As the one-year anniversary of ‘Penis-gate’ approaches, average-sized (and smaller) men the world over should be thanking Bloom for making them feel just a little bit better about themselves.